Unused Scripts
Over the run of Hancock's Half Hour, Galton and Simpson wrote just 10 scripts (nine for television and one radio) which were never made into a show. Sometimes this was down to topical references which, due to last-minute world events, made a show impossible to make. At other times Hancock wasn't happy with a script and a new show had to be written. However, given that 166 Hancock's Half Hour programmes were made (103 for radio and 63 television), to only have 10 unused scripts really shows the quality of the writing of Ray and Alan. Here follows a synopsis of each of the unmade shows. With thanks to Jonathan Street for these synopses.
The Counterfeiter (Radio – 1955)
As a conseqence of this script not being used, Cinderella Hancock was remade to replace it.
Hancock is determined that Bill should go out to work and stop sponging off him. However, after Bill takes a job testing mattresses in a shop window, Hancock is not impressed. So he secures Bill a different job… with unexpected consequences.
The Counterfeiter was recorded for the first time by the BBC on January 11, 2019 for Series Four of The Missing Hancocks. Featuring Kevin McNally as Hancock, it was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in January 2020.
The Diplomat (1956)
Tony is a window cleaner in Whitehall and advises government ministers that he can help after overhearing plans at the Moravian embassy. Unfortunately he picks the wrong window and, instead, overhears the board meeting of Sid’s fish and chip shop next door as they plan to expand their business. Fearing an invasion, the country mobilises to prepare for war.
With Sidney James and Warren Mitchell
The Letters (typed by BBC typists November 7, 1958)
Tony receives three letters mislaid by the Post Office for 16 years but doesn’t want to open them. Sid persuades him to read them and it turns out that Tony had been invited to an interview for his application to the Officer School in the Army. We go on a flight of fancy where Tony had risen to the title of Field Marshall Hancock. The second letter was from a girl Tony used to date, inviting him to meet her father. He imagines what could have been – rich beyond his wildest dreams. Tony is most annoyed at lost opportunities, so he throws the third letter (from his mother) on the fire and continues to imagine what changes to his life its contents might have brought.
With Sidney James
The Gambler (typed by BBC typists July 9, 1959)
Sid has gambled away all of Tony’s savings. To Tony’s horror, Sid’s gambling habit seems unbreakable, so he takes him to Gamblers Anonymous. Sid ruins the meeting by starting them all betting again, so Tony takes him to see a psychiatrist, who suggests that he’s encouraged to gamble until he eventually tires from it. This works but Hancock gets hooked even more than Sid was!
With Sidney James and John le Mesurier (as the doctor)
The Girl Next Door (typed by BBC typists January 27, 1960)
A family moves in next door. Tony is dead against it. He doesn’t like neighbours and they don’t like him. However, it turns out that a beautiful young girl is part of the family and she has an equally beautiful sister. Tony and Sid vie for their attentions, but the girls’ father is rightly suspicious. They get the chat on with the girls but when two young chaps turn up who are friendly with the girls, they exhaust themselves attempting to play tennis with them to prove that they are young and virile. However, in the end, it turns out that the girls are already engaged!
With Sidney James
The ITA Quiz
Hancock is a contestant on Money’s No Object, a game show hosted by Sid. With his encyclopaedic knowledge of archaeology, he gets close to winning the £164,000 question, but the show’s backers are worried about this as, if he won, they would be ruined. So, they ask Sid to knobble him by getting a girl to take him out partying all night, but to no avail… then Hancock can’t answer the final question!
With Sidney James and Hattie Jacques
Do It Yourself Movies
Remake of Radio Series One, Episode 14 The Sheikh and similar to Ericson the Viking.
With Sidney James, Kenneth Williams, Hattie Jacques and John Vere
Teenagers
Tony decides he’s fed up with boring parlour parties and worries that he and Sid are getting old. He persuades Sid to join him in going out to ‘hang out’ with teenagers but they can’t keep pace with the youngsters.
The Americans
The Americans come to East Cheam. Hancock is not enthusiastic, but when Sid works out how much money they can twist out of them by renting out rooms, he comes round. The Americans see through the scam so instead, Sid hatches a plan to open the cellar as a night club. All goes well until they get noticed by the police and are closed down. Hancock’s ruined but there are more soldiers coming along, only this time they’re Scottish. So they plot to open a haggis restaurant with sidelines in bagpipe tuning and kilt pressing!
With Sidney James
The Two Parties
Similar to the lost radio episode Series One Epiosde Nine The Christmas Eve Party. Sid and Tony awake to a hangover on Boxing Day in the midst of the ravages of the previous night’s party. The police summon them to the station after a complaint by their downstairs neighbour (John Vere). Tony and Sid tell a different story, saying their party was quiet and sedate and that John was the drunken boor who crashed their party. To resolve the matter the police officer stages a reconstruction, and they all end up in the clink!
With Sidney James, Johnny Vyvyan, John Vere, Mario Fabrizi, Graham Stark, John Blythe and Evelyn Lund